Why the silence from HQ?
Morning mummy lovers,
I thought I’d write you all a blog post because stuff like I’m about to write isn’t always welcomed on the Facebook page.
So you may or may not have noticed it’s been rather quiet on mummy love. Many of you know that I’m bipolar/manic depressive and I’ve always stated since day one that I started mummy love to help with the highs and lows that come with depression. This is still true but it becomes a catch 22 sometimes when I have a severe bout of depression that I can’t just leap over the hill and get back on the creative horse.
Accompanying my mental health issues is actual medical issues – 37 but the body of a 90 year old, and when the main issue of my health problems becomes more than I can deal with I shut down.
Pain. It’s a total variable issue that has its “good” days and it’s “bad” days, by good I mean the pain is manageable and by bad I mean I can’t even function. With the lack of ability to actually function it also drags the mental health down with it to the point that I physically stop moving.
The past month has been hell like. I think I’ve left the house twice and one of those times I wasn’t even dressed in normal clothes. Doing the school run for the boy monster in my pjs is easy work when I literally just have to jump in my car and drop him off at secondary school.
I don’t remember what the other time was but I know I definitely got dressed! So other than those two times I’ve been in bed 98% of the time. The 2% I’ve been in my sewing room cutting orders out, however that’s about it.
The pain and mania that I’ve been experiencing the past month is nothing but evil. Now bear in mind that I’m always on a pain management regime and to tell you honestly the pain I’ve been in hasn’t even been lessened by my normal drugs (which are 40x stronger than morphine… so yeah if you’ve ever had morphine you know that shit is some good stuff), so try to imagine it being 40 times stronger and you are still feeling pain – yeah exactly you may just have realised just how bad it’s been which has meant taking more drugs to try and ease the pain which in turn turns me in to nothing short of useless.
Adding the bonus of mental health issues to my already crazy pain issues, you can hopefully see and understand that the two of them don’t work together in the slightest and it’s just an all around circle of torture.
Let me tell you outright my functionality outside of just breathing and drinking has left me in a dark place. My mind is constantly on the go trying to work everything that I need to work out and on top of that the mental health issues have kicked in in the not so great insomnia journey also, so sleeping 3 hours a night at best is just the icing on the cake for what my life has been like the last month.
I had cleared most of my orders before the may half term school holidays, which isn’t bad, but obviously the past month has pushed another problem in the form of a delay to the already fudged mix that is my life.
I can only apologise profusely to all those that have outstanding orders and hope that you have a slight understanding/compassion to the reasons behind this delay. I did manage to have a little play around in my sewing room for an hour yesterday as I had a brain wave moment and thought of something awesome to make so I feel that’s a step in the right direction in attempting to get myself out of this situation that I’m currently in.
A slight progression in my eyes is a good step forward.
So keep an eye out on the Facebook page whilst I try and get back on top of your lovely orders which I’m as always, beyond grateful for. Your orders are my muse now in the attempt of getting on the right tracks.
Mrs Mummy Love