Let’s discuss the obvious….
So it has been a very quiet 18 months. Quieter than usual and the majority of you all who have placed orders have been legit life savers with only a couple of pains in the backside.
Why? BECAUSE SOME OF YOU CAN READ WHOOOOOOPPP. Now you’ve seen that in multiple places it states all orders are on hold. More so up the top there 🔝 at checkout where the tick box ✅ is that you can not proceed with your order unless you read what is written in the statement attached to the tick box. It is also stated on Facebook that all orders are on hold. So PLENTY of places that should be clear and understandable, but some people have come along thinking everything that I’ve mentioned doesn’t simply apply to them.
I know. The entitlement is great with some. But then this is where I inform people of everything again I’ve already mentioned and then I’m the one being rude….. when really all I’ve ever done is inform them of the information they should have already understood.
But that’s still not good enough. Ok so I’ll let you in on what’s been going on with me.
I actually need to take you back to 18 months ago ish. My girl monster started secondary school in sept 2024. Come December she was begging me to not send her in to school as she would rather be “unalived”. So yeah that’s just fucking awesome. She was immediately kept home from school and school was updated again with what was happening with her. I say again because it wasn’t like she started in September and there had been no issues. No no. Quite the opposite. Daily issues that were just never ending.
FYI week before her 12th birthday guess who starts their periods. Yep my at that time 11 year old girl monster.
It took this point in December to make it very clear that some things were happening at school that my girl monster just couldn’t cope with. With this her school made a lot of effort to help the girl monster which included her moving class forms to a calmer class that wasn’t as crazy as she had been dealing with.
We had the school make arrangements to make it so the girl monster was able to cope. It’s a lot to go from a child who enjoyed school prior to secondary to a child who point blank would rather end everything through the fear of just going to school.
We still had weekly emails updating school what she had come home and told us. She started having one to one wellbeing sessions and every teacher had to be made aware that our girl monster wasn’t the standard student.
We had 2 incidents of sexual harassment that happened in school that affected our girl monster in ways that even myself shuddered at what she was saying to us. Leaving a 12 year old scared to walk down the school corridors for fears she would see these older boys who were sexually harassing her.
Slowly she became able to tolerate what she was going through at school. This was also via many “interventions” where school helped her through some of the issues that had come up.
Im going to skip to the end of the school year - a week before the end to be precise so July 2025. School called me up for my usual phone call every week to discuss anything from that week.
Im then asked. “Has the girl monster ever been looked in to for ADHD/ autism spectrum disorder?”.
No, no one has EVER mentioned it. It had been something that had played on my mind as I watched her grow up. Here are some of the things I noticed
•Noise sensitivity - had noise headphones y4/5/6
•Super at maths
•Knows EVERY flag in the world
• Super at reading
• Food sensitivity would eat only sausages around 4/5yo
• Loses her actual shit when she lost at a game
• Happy to play by herself and struggled playing with others who didn’t follow the rules on playing a game.
There are a lot more things I could keep writing but you get what’s going on. And no her primary/middle school didn’t pick up on any of these issues regardless of how clear and obvious there was issues.
So school went away and before the end of the school year did a FACT assessment on the girl monster having compiled a lot of information from her teachers. Summer holidays happen and I’ve heard nothing from school or GP.
September 2025 back to school she goes in year 8. After a couple weeks I email the school asking what’s going on as I hadn’t heard anything. I’m then emailed back with a FACT assessment (the one from July I didn’t know they had done) and a FACT+ assessment done in the first few weeks of being back at school.
So now I’m new to all this and I read everything they have written. I then discovered that her FACT assessment came back that bad it had triggered this FACT+ assessment which were all rated as 3’s/4’s.ratings are 1-4 with 4 being most complex.
FUCK.
So I go to my GP and let them have these assessments and they do a referral to CAMHS. Based on these assessments she’s not a danger to herself or others and they reject the referral as you have to be of moderate concern. We do the referral again and the GP was pushing so hard for them to help us but again referral is rejected but the community paediatric team pick up her case.
Theres now a 3 year waiting time to be seen by them.
FUCKING GREAT
I get looking in to the private health insurance we have and see she could be seen by a child psycho therapist if there was an open CAMHS referral. So again I ask my GP to make it an open CAMHS referral case so our insurance can possibly pick it up and get the girl monster seen quicker than NHS waiting times.
They get back to Mr Mummy Love and even via private insurance it’s a 5-6 month wait. And this isn’t even for a possible ADHD/autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. This is just for help to discuss and act upon her severe anxiety.
Inbetween us being seen by someone/anyone her mental health is going down down and more down.. We had a meltdown couple weeks ago purely because of the way we had woken her up in the morning - no different to the last 13 years of her life waking her up to take her brother to school etc she had a total manic episode.
Now these manic episodes are happening on a weekly basis, I won’t lie, it’s been HARD and it’s definitely taken its toll on my mental health. I feel like a failure with her. I feel like we should have said something when she was in primary/middle school. Im angry that school didn’t pick up on these things I now see in hindsight.
We’ve now had 18 months of secondary school with the girl monster and we had to face reality that waiting 3+ years isn’t going to be beneficial to her. So Christmas 2025 we had to start looking around our local area for a private diagnosis for the simple fact that it was going to be significantly quicker.
Ill be honest school have been a life saver. Through every meltdown, through every tearful episode, through every angry frustration the girl monster has experienced, they’ve supported her. They’ve checked in on her, they’ve made adjustments on more than one occasion.
The girl monster really struggles with her emotions and regulating them. Sound irks her beyond words. Girl drama drives her bonkers. Talking with others and making friends is just a big no no. Clothing types upset her. It sounds like a lot. It really is a lot for a now 13 year old young girl.
So 2026 we started the process of a private diagnosis. This process ended a few days ago and now we wait.
I’m scared but I’m hopeful that things can be put in place for the girl monster. I never thought (even how glaringly obvious) we would be walking down this road as every blatantly obvious sign throughout her younger years was just who she was to us, 1000% different than the boy monster, just our girl monster.
T 💜
PS keep an eye out for things I’ll be making to help my girl monster through this difficult journey. Here’s a little sneak peak
